Where’s My Flying Car?

They lied to me. All of them.

They lied to me. All of them. Especially the ones on TV. They promised me a flying car by the time I grew up. And I still don’t see any flying cars. Those dogs!

Allow me to explain. My early childhood coincided with the first days of the space race. Those halcyon post-WWII days when advances in technology and science seemed endless. When books, magazines, and TV promised affordable space travel, moon bases, and flying commute vehicles within 25 years.

In particular, I remember an episode of a Sunday afternoon news show with a segment called the “house of the future.” It was narrated by some guy with a chocolatey baritone who would go on to host the graveyard shift at a Muzak station, which eventually became a smooth jazz station. Otherwise, the futuristic domicile in the show was probably constructed from cardboard and plywood. It featured a shiny kitchen filled with space age gizmos and labor-saving devices. The one that really got my attention was a tableware-trash nuking unit. Literally, an appliance the size of a washing machine that issued sparkling clean plates, bowls, and other tableware on command. But here’s the kicker; it literally made them to order. Once dinner was over, you loaded the unit with the dirty dishes—scraps and all—and then the push of another button melted everything down. With the next meal, the machine recycled the old base material and made new plates and more. Gee whiz, I thought, Moms everywhere would surely clamber for this miracle of kitchen science.

The bathroom sported automatic toothbrushes that required no holding, towels on racks that did the shake, bake, and drying while you just stood there all nakie, and a shower with a conveyor belt just like the one in the Jetson’s show. Just think of it, life imitating cartoon art.

All these space age conveniences aside, it was the cars that really got me. Parked in the “space port” were two flying cars resplendent with clear bubble tops. The footage showed dad kissing mom goodbye in the morning. Then, dressed in a fashionable grey worsted business suit complete with matching Hornburg and pipe, the man of the house popped the bubble top on one of the flying convertibles and clambered inside. Once strapped in, he stowed his brief case and hat and then closed the bubble top.

Dad slowly backed out of the port on three sets of tiny wheels. Then, in the blink of an atomic eye, he pulled up and away like a shot. The segment ended with dad landing the family unit on a long runway near the office and then pulling into a parking space. Re-entry accomplished, he popped the bubble, retrieved his briefcase, and then exited with a futuristic spring in his step, never missing a puff on his pipe.

This, I thought, is the real deal. That night at dinner all I could talk about was the show. Martin, my dad, eventually told me to give it a rest. My mom said “honey, it’s just a show. Most of those things will probably never happen.” I chose to believe otherwise and could hardly sleep that night. It was just too exciting!

But promises forgotten are rarely kept. In time there were other shows, other distractions, and the bright memories of space cars and tableware nuke machines faded. But that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. I was sold a lousy bill of goods and I’m still not happy about it. Personal space ships, moon commutes, and the rest. Where are they? And where is my flying car?

Come to think of it, flying cars may not be such a good idea after all. The movie The Fifth Element comes to mind. It’s a personal favorite that depicts 24^th century Manhattan built up into the stratosphere. And there’s zillions of flying vehicles whizzing around making for utter chaos.

As for life in the present, if people can’t even drive vehicles on land without crashing left and right, flying cars are definitely not a good idea. We can’t even get it together with self-driving cars yet. Still it’s the year 2024. There’s little space travel to speak of and no moon base. But we do have lots of other techno marvels like AI, speed dating, and mobile phones you can fold. So I won’t hold my breath for flying cars. But it would be really cool if they did happen. Just saying.

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