A few nights ago we dined al fresco on the patio out back. The evening temps as of late have been getting below 90 making the environs almost comfy. If there’s a breeze, and that night there was, dinner outside can be lovely. The breeze also helps keep the bugs away, always a good thing. Last summer wasps made repeated attempts to build nests in the eaves of the vigas above the patio table. Repeated blasting with the hose kept them at bay. Thankfully, they decided to go elsewhere this year.
After dinner, the moon rose over the mountains in the fading light. It was just a shade off full and would be full the night after. Moonlight is always lovely. It makes me think of romantic things like Cinderella dancing with the prince at the ball, or Professor Lupin turning into a werewolf in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and scaring the hell out of everyone. Talk about romantic.
My wife Carla was telling me about the phases of the moon. I knew the obvious ones—new moon, full moon, and the waxing-waning thing. But I didn’t know all the terms. It seemed like a good idea to check them out. Here they are with brief explanations as defined on moonconnection.com. Yes, there is actually a site called that. Should you be surprised? I think not.
New moon: The new moon occurs when the moon is positioned between the earth and sun. The three objects are in approximate alignment. The entire illuminated portion of the moon is on the back side of the moon, the half that we cannot see.
Full moon: At a full moon, the earth, moon, and sun are in approximate alignment, just as the new moon, but the moon is on the opposite side of the earth, so the entire sunlit part of the moon is facing us. The shadowed portion is entirely hidden from view.
First quarter and third quarter moons: are often called half-moons. These happen when the moon is at a 90 degree angle with respect to the earth and sun. So we are seeing exactly half of the moon illuminated and half in shadow.
Between lunar phases: are defined by the following four words: crescent, gibbous, waxing, and waning. The word crescent refers to the phases where the moon is less than half-illuminated. The word gibbous refers to phases where the moon is more than half-illuminated. Waxing means growing or expanding in illumination, and waning means shrinking or decreasing in illumination.
If you’re keeping score, combining all the previous gives us a total of eight lunar phases. They are, in order:
New moon, waxing crescent, first quarter, waxing gibbous, full moon, waning gibbous, last quarter, and waning crescent
Armed with this delightful knowledge, I then wondered what it would be like to compare the stages of human life to the eight lunar phases. Where a new moon could represent the Lion King circle of life thing in terms of a lifetime’s beginning and end. The rest of the phases could represent various stages of life. It might go something like this:
The new moon: A babe wrapped in swaddling hospital stripey blankies arrives. For the two humanoids responsible for a particular moment of pleasure followed by a lifetime of parenting, it means lost sleep, no privacy, and nary a sex act for the foreseeable future lest another puny wah-wah be created.
The waxing crescent: toddler-dom and childhood. When boys skip crawling and go right to running, as in running into walls, furniture, and any other object in the vicinity. Boys are slower to understand the “respect occupied space” law of the universe. Girls, on the other hand, show early prowess at sitting quietly and doing activities that require fine motor skills. Boys excel at gross motor skills and taking things apart, never to be reassembled. At least puppies don’t fall into the latter category.
The first quarter: swimming in the murky sociological petri dish that is high school. Learning how to deal with the opposite camp—or not. Making friends, some of whom will be such for a lifetime. Hallucinating that high school is the high point of one’s life.
The waxing gibbous: college years, early adulthood, and meandering toward a career. Hopefully finding that man/woman/cat of your dreams. Marrying the cat. Cat divorces you after two months. Finding a decent job. Getting laid off from the decent job because of a corporate merger. Backpacking in Asia to discover yourself. Contracting exotic disease on backpacking trip. Returning home to go to graduate school. Getting a less than glam job that pays well and has benefits. Saddling one’s self with various debts. Good times.
The full moon: full on adulthood. Getting into a groove/rut with the career. Having kids with all the trappings (see new moon). Moving to bigger houses, cars, and more debt. Stressful times.
The waning gibbous: midlife crisis. Divorce and a lengthy trip through Europe. Finding the trophy wife/husband and dealing with shared custody. Changing careers with hopefully less debt but more therapy required.
The last quarter: Sliding into one’s fifties/sixties. Winding career down with hopefully a planned exit and not being escorted to the parking lot by office security. Altruistic endeavors and expensive hobbies. College tuition for kids. Constructing man cave. Hiding in man cave. Periodic crises of personal relevance.
The waning crescent: gray hair, progressive lenses, creaky bodies, and cranky tempers. The need for more sleep but the inability to sleep for extended periods of time. Retirement, kids getting married, grandkids, and cruises to exotic climes wearing loud clothes. Trips to the doctor and the inevitable effects of time and gravity. You kids get off my lawn! Where’s the lawn? Eventually, the end of the runway, hopefully with a trust and all finances in tidy order.
Scanning the above, the one phase that’s imminently appealing to me is the waxing gibbous. It’s a period of life when one hopefully has their act together but everything is still on the up and up. Unless, of course, your career plan involves knocking over Dairy Queens. Waxing gibbous also sounds expansive, like a gregarious primate. I like to fancy myself just that from time to time. So here’s to waxing and all things gibbous. Or at least to a quiet evening now and again out back with lovely moonlight and no wasps. What could be better?
Thank you for reading. Enjoy more posts about wine and other musings on my blog at timgaiser.com.
Learn about my book, Message in the Bottle: A Guide to Tasting Wine.
